Relatability, the Magic Ingredient of Successful Mentorship

You will learn English more from proficient speakers who know how to teach than from native speakers.
You will learn more from people who can most relate to you than from exceptional people.

Consider for a moment how many English centers in China, Thailand and Vietnam employ white English speakers and what percentage of their alumni can speak English proficiently. Then, compare that to the Philippines where most people never studied with non-teacher native speakers but simply from teachers who studied well and became proficient English speakers.

In learning a skill, say speaking English or upgrading your career, everyone knows the benefits of having a mentor. We can save lots of time, money, and effort if someone better than us can guide us along the way.

However, the marketing world has fed us the idea that the best mentors are the people who do best in their fields. So, if Warren Buffett is your mentor, you'll do well in investing. If he is Jack Ma or Robin Li, you'll do well in business, they say. The thing is, these are exceptional people. They are naturals or "natives". Not a lot of us were born with a brain like Buffett, nor do we have experiences resembling his. Not a lot of us has the autistic-like single-mindedness of Jack Ma. In my case, if they will be my mentors, I will suck—you know, I had not loved Probability as a child nor had I dreamed of beating Silicon Valley enterprises.

In speaking English, many people say that you will learn best if you study with native speakers—American, British, Australian or anyone who looks white. There was even a language center who preferred an applicant who has white ancestry over me even though we're both locals and my English was better.

Buy why do many ESL learners still fail to improve after studying with many Caucasian teachers? It's because the white guy who doesn't know how to teach can only give you exposure to the way he speaks, at best. He cannot breakdown your weaknesses and recommend the right advice for improvement. Moreover, if English is the only language he speaks, he has no idea how it's like to be a second language learner, hence he doesn't know what you're going through.

In my life, whether learning a language or doing well in my career, I've learned more from people who shared my experiences than from people who could not relate to where I'm coming from. I may not have been born in a country where English is the mother tongue but I studied it and worked hard to become fluent. Now, show me any English native and I will converse with him confidently about any subject. I'll understand him easily because I practiced thousands of materials, which he might never have done or be willing to do. He'll also understand me easily because I speak his mother language very clearly.

The point is, the idea that you will learn best from native speakers is just a stereotype. It's not true. You have better chance to improve if you will study with fluent and proficient teachers who in the past were just students like you. Why? Because they understand what you're going through.

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