When we think of goals, we often see an evident and often tangible reward at the end of a long grueling exertion of effort.
Say, you want to be a millionaire, then your goal is probably “to accumulate $1 million in savings and investments after x number of years”. Say, you want to become good with women, you might express it as “to have at least 3 amazing girlfriends per year” or “to attract 8 of 10 amazing girls I interact with”.
The goal is the outcome, the goal is the end product that you want to attain, and result that you often visualize.
I have a different idea. What if the goal is not the outcome? What if the goal is the performance itself? The disciplined exertion of effort to fashion your character into something better than your previous self.
You want to be a millionaire? Expressed such goal as “to be able to dedicate at least 6 hours of my day in improving my business”, or “to be able to consistently invest 20% of my monthly income in growth stocks” or “to be able to attempt to approach at least 20 prospective clients per week”.
You want to become good with women? Then express your goal as “to be able to initiate meaningful interactions with at least 6 attractive women per day” or “to spend at least 3 hours everyday in improving my appearance, my manners and my status as a man”.
In this performance-based paradigm, failure is no longer not having the results that motivated you to take action at first. Failure simply becomes not taking action. Success is defined as consistently performing what you resolved to do, no matter what happens, no matter what obstacles are in the way… not hitting that jackpot that would make people think you’re just a lucky son of a bitch.
Outcomes then become merely the motivation that allowed you to act in the first place. Yeah, you desired that illusory millionaire lifestyle, or that similarly illusory ladies man lifestyle, and that propelled you to act in the beginning. But the defining factor is not whether or not you’ve actually become a millionaire or you’ve got laid, the defining factor is whether or not you’ve remained faithful to your commitment in spite all.
Our goals need not be outcome-based, our goals could be performance-based. The goal need not be the destination, but the journey itself.
When the outcome is your goal, at some point you’ll eventually figure out that success depends on a lot of factors, some of which you just could not control. And when you don’t achieve your imagined outcome, you become disappointed. You start to think that you are inadequate, that your best is never good enough. You discount the fact that you have developed your willpower to withstand such an extreme self-imposed discipline in the attainment of that thing that motivated you at first. And for me, a better character, forged by an extraordinary life journey, is a better reason to call for celebration.
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